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Choices

from Obsolescence by John Ludi

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When you've slogged though life at least a couple decades longer than you ever thought you would, you start to ruminate on all the various choices you (and others) have made that led you to where you are exactly right now. In the case of this song, I've often thought over the years of the first woman I ever fell in love with, when I was far too young to understand how complex human emotions and human emotional development can be, and what would have happened "if"...and where she is now.

(This album has 3 love songs on it...that's a record for me. I promise never to do it again.)

lyrics

I thought of you today while counting the gray
and all the lines around my eyes
Creases upon my face, they each have their place
one of them is the mark of you.

Where has time taken you, how is your passage through
this life that works to pull us down?
Is your smile still a thing that could make the angels sing...
and did they ever sing for you?

So did you find a love and are you hand in glove
and did they give you what you need?
Is your heart warm and mild or is it strained and wild?
Was this world at all fair to you?

Has your light lost its shine, well so has mine...
all of this living takes its toll.
Remembering your glow, the grace with which you flowed
did that grace forge a path for you?

We are the choices we have made
you walked your road and I walked mine
what price, if any, have we paid
for one lone future left behind?

I’ve wandered all around but rarely saw the ground
where my roots could find a lasting home.
In soils both strange and fair I've found both woe and care...
did this world feed and nurture you?

Now I face my decline, I'm worn in heart and mind
with few dreams left to call my own.
I’ve felt both love and loss, living brings both joy and cost
has it cost anything for you?

credits

from Obsolescence, released May 28, 2015
Written, performed, engineered, mixed, and produced by John Ludi. Mastered by Erik Saari. eriksaari.com/audio/

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John Ludi Madison, Wisconsin

John Ludi is a musician/singer-songwriter with a wide array of influences and lyrical interests who was "Indie" before the term even existed. Working outside of the music industry by choice has given Ludi the ability to release songs of a level of lyrical depth that are anathema to the minds of the "suits". Ludi lives off-grid in a yurt in the woods of WI and will "fight the power" til he dies. ... more

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